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Channel: Elsa Nierenberg | Points in Case
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Incomplete Drafts of My Cover Letter for a Summer Internship

Dear Joan, I looked up your name on LinkedIn---because that’s how much I care about this job. I seriously need you to hire me.

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Your Honest Summer 2019 Reading List

New Yorker cartoons: You love The New Yorker. You READ The New Yorker. But 9 times out of 10 you buy The New Yorker for those sweet, sweet cartoons.

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Secret Starbucks Menu Items for Assholes

This secret menu item is complicated, multi-layered, bold, and bitter: it’s perfect for the starving artist (because it’s got 12 grams of protein).

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Are You a Real New Yorker or Just a College Intern?

Mixed up bodies of water, and when your friend from out of town visited, confidently pointed towards Hoboken and said, “that’s Brooklyn over there?”

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List: Passive-Aggressive BuzzFeed Quizzes Written By Your Mom

"Poll: Are you mad at me? Because your sister insinuated some things you might’ve told her about me…"

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Trying to Explain My Statement Fashion Choices to My Mother

Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.

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Move Over Avocado, It’s the Durian Fruit’s Time to Shine

The Durian fruit is the record-holding “smelliest fruit in the world." Now you tell me, what records does the avocado hold? That’s right, none.

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I Refuse to Be the Only One Responsible for Mom’s Birthday Present

I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.

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Five Natural Beauty Products That Don’t Work as Well as That Chemical Shit

You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.

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Quiz: Lines from “The Bell Jar” or My 7th Grade Diary?

“I’m absolutely sure that I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.” / “The day I went into physics class it was death.”

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